thenightsurgeon

I. Because it's been a long night.

II. Because I'm your father.

III. Because I'm the doctor.

IV. Because you're infected.

V. Because of your mother.

VI. Because it's dangerous.

VII. Because the world is cruel.

VIII. Because you're seventeen

IX. Because you're my child.

X. Because you have limitations.

XI. Because you're my everything.

XII. Because I care.

XIII. Because I love you.

I have discovered that all human evil comes from this, man's being unable to sit still in a room. - Blaise Pascal (1623 - 1662)

There are some days-

Some days. Some. He worries about those days the most because he has a child and he worries so very much about here but there are some days-

Some.

Where it's not enough. Where he finds himself annoyed with the missteps of youth and the common mistakes of every child. Where Shiloh's very presence is enough to drive him mad, where if he saw her his only response would be to turn away and leave. He has no partner to rely on, every seeming failure in preparing her for the world is his and his alone and some days-

Some.

She's slow (everyone has their moments) and it's annoying (He is too. God he is too) and he finds himself restless-stalking back and forth in front of the window like a cat. He takes pleasure in catching himself, in stopping those frenzied footsteps and going upstairs to talk to her, to tell her that he loves her, to listen to every little thing. It is an act of apology on his part. His wonder at being a father always remains fresh that way, some days it's gratifying.

Perhaps I'm not going to hell.

Perhaps I'm not a terrible person.

Perhaps the things that I have done are made right in offering this new life to the world.

Perhaps she's salvation, perhaps she'll save this world our mistakes have made.

Perhaps.

But every day he takes intense pleasure in putting her to bed, locking up the house and practically prancing (prancing! had he fallen so far?) downstairs to dress and go out, between the rooftops and alleys, between the shadows, a veritable ghost, a living shadow.

There are some days he glances back and catches another shadow pacing like a frantic cat in front of her own window wondering why the hell her father's such a bastard, what she did to deserve this and if somehow things will get better.

But most of the time he walks away. It is the province of the free to deny freedom to others so they have something to fight for. To strive for. He is doing right (isn't he?)

Some Days.

Ten ways you save time

Ed Note: This is a pre and post canon list since lefthefather is pre-canon and Nathan-jumps back and forth.

- Pre-Canon-

1. To-Do lists.

2. Marni My wife.

3. I have a fantastic secretary.

4. My Neo!BlackBerry is a gift. from. god.

5. I'm actually pretty punctual.

6. Come to think of it, I'm the one who remembers most things. And whatever I forget, Marni remembers.

7. The Giant Screen in the Plaza.

8. I have a good file system.

9. What I forget, Marni Forgets, my secretary forgets, and My Neo!blackberry forgets- Casia Remembers.

10....I've got nothin'

( Post. Canon. )

130. TEN brand names/logos you associate with.

1. Whole Foods Organic Processing Plant.
2. Genetic! Opera. [Yes, that exclaimation point is there]
3. Zydrate
4. Land's End
5. Calypse Clothing
6. Largo
7. Organic Repo Man
8. ...I've always liked that Nike Symbol?
9. I'm running out of ideas here? The City Seal? I don't know
10. [GENECo]


131. TEN things about your past.

( And the Years Roll by... )

editor:...There's alot of my own personal fanon in this. If anyone actually knows the backstory feel free to correct me.

[Why I don't Vote]

10. I can't remember the last time I saw Washington do anything that actually benefited anybody besides the bill (which passed with a unanimous vote by the way)

9. I can't name the president.

8. Doesn't seem fair if I can't do that. I think at this point we've sort of let our electoral process slide to the point where they could throw darts at a board and we'd follow the leader.

7. Everyone knows GeneCo who actually runs the country.

6. [Locked against Shilo and Marni] And shitting where you eat is bad form, if you catch my drift.

5. The last President that we actually had the big-to-do for ended up selling America to a Corporation. We don't speak her name.

4. ninety precent of my...patients are targets well...patients. I'm sure that violates a conflict of interests.

3. It's hard to be proud of a country that has legalized murder and considers going to the surgery-parlor the same as going to the salon.

2. I can't think of any hot-button issues that I'd like to see changed. (In all honesty. I can't.)

1. ....I don't care.